Thursday, June 30, 2011

Day 13: I ♥ Huckabees (2004)


Starring: Lily Tomlin, Jason Schwartzman, Mark Wahlberg
Directed by: David O. Russell

The Positives:

- Best opening movie line ever, but it is much too vulgar to post here.
- "Have you ever transcended space and time?" "Yes. No. Time, not space. ...No I don't know what you're talking about." Well deadpanned Mr. Schwartzman
- Naomi Watts is smokin'. David O. must think so too because the first time you meet her character in person, all you see is her ass bent over in bikini and then another good ten seconds of her shaking it about. (This seems to be a constant theme as of late.)
- I swear I see Kevin Dunn in everything. Counting this film and yesterday's he's already been in 1/6 of the movies I've reviewed.
- Dammit Marky Mark! I shouldn't like you as an actor this much.
- I just noticed how many movie scenes I enjoy that are set at a dinner tables.


The Negatives:

- I could've gone my entire life with out seeing Jason Schwartzman dressed as a baby sucking milk out of the tits of woman's body with Jude Law's face superimposed on it.
- This film feels like a movie Wes Anderson would make while kicking an unhealthy addiction. Not that it's about substance abuse mind you, but it feels both dirty and gawky.
- The script seems a bit... disjointed at times, and it's existentialist nature is not one for most people.
- I also found myself losing interest as the film progressed.

Grade: C-

This is either a love it or hate it film, and I wanted to enjoy it much more than I did. Maybe in two or three years, if I choose to ever re-watch it, I may enjoy it more than I do presently, but as of now I find it very "Meh."

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Day 12: Transformers: Dark of the Moon (2011)


If the 'Transformers' series was personified, it'd be the macho, douchebag prettyboy... and I'd be the slut he abuses that still comes back for more.

Starring: Shia Labeouf, Patrick Dempsey, Leonard Limoy
Directed by: Michael "Bay-splosion" Bay

The Positives:

- If you're going to see this movie, do yourself a favor and see it in 3-D. It was glorious.
- We FINALLY get to see some fighting on Cybertron! Though it's only about two minutes at most and everybody is in spaceships, but still. Dope.
- If you're thinking about skipping the film due to an excessive lack of Megan Fox, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley provides plenty of hotness to the final installment of the series. Think you'll miss Megan's ass bending over in short shorts? Bay provides the audience with enough Huntington-Whiteley upskirts to keep the perv in all of us satisfied. Oh, and just so you know, she's introduced ass-first, and the camera stays on her langerie-clad rear for 80% of her first scene.
- Actually, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley was a much better actress than I expected, and she provided much more to the story than the previous bullet point indicated. (Even if there is about twenty-minutes of cohesive story.)
- So many 'Star Trek' references (Okay two, but one was an on-screen cameo by Limoy as Spock as seen on Sam's television.)
- Lazerbeak was bad-fucking-ass. Just sayin'.
- A Mexican standoff? With Transformers? Dear lord, my fan-fics have come true!
- Alan Tudyk!
- Was that John DiMaggio's voice I heard? Yes! Yes it was.
- Hey, Barricade retuned! Albeit briefly.
- The final fight scene was at least 45 minutes to and hour. It was tiresome yes, but damn if it wasn't epic, more than making up for the weak ending of the second film.
- I know most people had to admit this about a "Transformers" film, but I really did have a lot of fun watching it. I may have a lot of negatives below, but those couple of irks didn't take too much from my enjoyment. Too much.

The Negatives:

- Even with the two racist Autobots removed from the series, Michael Bay still found a way to annoy us with Brains and Wheelie.
- John Malkovich's character was annoying as hell too.
- Not to mention, Ken Jeong's scenes felt way too cartoonish for a 'Transformers' film... Wait. Yes I know how crazy that sounds.
- Going into this movie, I believed Shockwave was going to be the main villain, as the press would have you believe. However, he was a third-teir baddie at MOST. Hell, I think Starscream did more damage than Shockwave did.
- Luckily, Sam's parents have hardly any screen time, but when they're there, you notice. Mom's talking about the size of their son's penis should not be allowed to ever be filmed. Ever. It's not funny.
- Actually, I'm surprised by how many jokes fell-flat in this film. Normally, the writers provide one-or-two chuckles, but either all the jokes in this film felt forced or just poorly timed.
- Apparently, somewhere between filming and the final release, the Transformers formally known as Wheeljack and Mirage had their names changed to Que and Dino, receptively. While I understand that a lot of the original series's fans are happy their classic characters weren't bastardized, I would've much rather they kept the names seeing as Que and Dino don't sound especially Autobotic. Also, the former names would've made the final scene with Que calling Bumblee "Old friend" all the more enchanting considering Bee and Wheeljack shared the very first scene of the original cartoon with each other. (Though I suppose this won't bother anybody who's unaware of this change, like most of the viewing audience.)
- I think Michael Bay just ends his movies when the final fight is over. "Okay, boys! That's how you end a movie!" "Uhh... Sir, shouldn't you probably provide the film, nay, the series with some kind of closure?" "Oh... I suppose. Somebody film me a montage!" I actually kind of like this, considering how exhausting the final fight scene was, but I have a feeling that enough people care about a film's story that I should probably file this under the Negatives section. (Don't worry, I never plan on being this lazy when I direct movies.)
- This is less a critique of the film and more of a complaint about society in general. The men in the row behind me at the cinema constantly talked about the dumbest stuff, like "Dude, does that Chernobyl place really exist or was that something that happened between this and the second film?" while the man in the row in front of me thought it was okay to answer is phone in the middle of the damn movie and talk about it with his buddy. Dear lord, doesn't anybody have respect for the average movie-goer anymore?

Grade: B

The 'Transformers' series is loud, dumb and obnoxious, yet I still always manage to have fun. Somehow.

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Day 11: Last Night (1998)


With a tagline like "It's not the end of the world... there's still six hours left", how could you not be interested?

Starring: Sandra Oh, David Cronenberg, Sarah Polley
Directed by: Don McKellar

The Positives:

-The opening sequence of a post-rioted New York City set to "Last Night" was beautiful.
- Not to mention how real the scene involving the family who is celebrating their last christmas feels, especially since every character still has their own troubles which they bring to the table, even when facing their own death.
- David Cronenberg should act a lot more. He emphasizes the emotional core of a character who one wouldn't even think was relevant at all.
- Matter of fact, I think the film's greatest strength is the cast and their performances.
- The movie does have a dark sort of beauty to it as well. Especially in the quieter scenes.
- 'Last Night' kind of feels like an "end of the world" sequel to 'Go'. Even though every character has their own story, they often interact and bump into each other as the movie progresses.


The Negatives:

- I am slightly more concerned about the human race now. I notice many movies about the end of the world are like this, with most humans becoming deranged, crazy lunatics, and I can't help but to feel that their is a truth to it.
- Watching a sex addict try to talk their best friend into sleeping with them was especially awkward... especially considering both friends were straight men.
- I would also like to know what caused the end of the world. Yes, I know not giving the premise a definite answer gives the film more mystery, but I find that kind of cliche now. I think having a well thought out reason for the apocalypse is much more interesting than just leaving it up for the audience to guess.
- It's a good film, yes, and it will definitely stand as one of the better films in the "apocalyptic" genre, yet I have a feeling I'm more likely to just remember certain clips rather than the movie as a whole. I could even say it's a bit... bland.


Grade: B-

'Last Night' feels like an extended episode of 'The Twilight Zone', just in color. If it were, it'd be one of the better episodes.

Monday, June 27, 2011

Day 10: Paul (2011)


Comic-Con is less than a month away and Chris and I got our tickets. What better way to celebrate than to watch the recently released sci-fi comedy 'Paul'?

Starring: Seth Rogen, Simon Pegg, Jason Bateman
Directed by: Greg Mottola

The Positives:

- Oh God! So. Many. Nerdy. References.
- So. Many. Comedian. Cameos.
- A Steven Spielberg Cameo! Gah!
- A Mac and Me reference! (And a positive one at that!)
- I don't want to say that Simon Pegg and Nick Frost are this generation's Abott and Costello, but if this is seriously the worst movie this duo has made together, than it seems like they can do no wrong.
- They get bonus points for realistically acting against a CGI character, which anybody who's seen any of the Star Wars prequels should know how difficult that is.
- Speaking of which, based on the trailers, I thought the CGI in 'Paul' would look cartoonish and fake. After actually seeing it in the film, however, I can honestly say it's some of the better effects I've seen in comedy revolving around a CG character. This looks like fucking 'Avatar' compared to 'Scooby-Doo'. Also, Seth Rogen is just as entertaining voicing a digital alien as he is in any Apatow film.

The Negatives:

- I'm not a fan of movies that take negative religious stances, especially when they cast Christians as crazy, hypocritical rednecks.
- It's not necessarily a negative critique, but it was a bit odd watching a Simon Pegg comedy that drew its humor from nerdy references than clever dialogue. I liked the references mind you, but some more wit wouldn't have hurt.
- One could also say that the supporting cast, especially Jason Bateman and Bill Hader out shined the main stars. Once again, it didn't make the movie worse, it's just something I noticed.

Grade: B+

It might be the lesser of Frost/Pegg saga but it filled my little nerd heart with glee, and it will surely hold me over until 'The World's End' comes out.

Sunday, June 26, 2011

Day 9: Best Worst Movie (2009)


A documentary about the best worst movie ever: 'Trolls 2'. Will this be just as unbearable to watch as the film it's documenting?

Starring: George Hardy, Darren Ewing, Claudio Fragasso
Directed By: Michael Stephenson

The Positives:

- George Hardy really is one of the most likable people I have ever seen star in a documentary.
- The director (who happens to have starred as the son in 'Trolls 2') brilliantly displays the fans of the movies love for the film in a more than just a "so bad it's good" way.
- It's also nice to see that the former film's cast have mostly moved on but still embrace their cult star status when the subject is brought up.
- Hiring an actual mental patient as 'Trolls 2''s antagonist? Ballsy move Fragasso. (Bonus points for getting the actor to admit he wanted to murder the kid in the film without giving away that he grew up to become the director of this flick.)
- When your movie is referenced in the creators' of Guitar Hero and The Upright Citizens Brigade's productions, you know you have a cult film on your hands.

The Negatives:

- God, it was awkward watching Robert Ormsby talk about wasting his life away and seeing 'the original film fail at various conventions and screenings with the cast in attendance.
- I… I think I actually want to see 'Trolls 2' now. Dear lord help me.

Grade: B+

I can honestly say I had a lot of fun watching this documentary, which cannot be said about most. Now I'm completely prepared for the release of 'Trolls 2: Part II' (Which I hear will be starring Patton Oswalt!)

Saturday, June 25, 2011

Day 8: Wild Wild West (1999)


Will Smith in a western-comedy directed by the director of 'Men in Black'? This can't possibly be that bad right?

Starring: Will Smith, Kenneth Branagh, Salma Hayek
Directed by: Barry Sonnenfeld

The Positives:

- It's only an hour and forty-five minutes.
- I am a fan of alliteration.
- At least Salma Hayek was pretty to look at.


The Negatives:

- It's still an hour and forty-five minutes.
- That damn mechanical spider.
- Every time Bai Ling appeared on screen I wanted to shoot myself.
- Kenneth Branagh, you deserve so much better than this!
- With a name like General "Bloodbath" McGrath, you'd think the antagonist would be better suited for an episode of "Wacky Races than a Will Smith film.
- Oddly framed and cut sequences are peppered throughout the film and it's quite distracting.
- The humor rarely works. The bizarre blend of sight jokes, 'witty' wordplay, and slapstick humor not only miss their beats, but the odd and unfunny sound effects appointed to the gags give the film a 'Looney Tunes'-esque tone, and it fails on every level. By the end of the first act, the humor is just annoying.
- Ex. #1 "That's a man's head." wasn't funny the first time it was said. It didn't get any funnier the next three times.
- I don't care how many faux scientific explanations you want to use to explain something, some things are just un-fucking-believeable.
- I find it unacceptable that a film released during the same year as 'The Matrix', and cost $107,000,000 more to make, has inferior special effects.

Grade: F

This isn't a so-bad it's good movie. This isn't even a bad movie. This is a terrible, horrible, no good, rotten movie, and I feel bad for anybody who has seen/will see/even knows about it.

Friday, June 24, 2011

Day 7: Megamind (2010)


I'm a Pixar fanboy. I assume most movie people are. However, I noticed this does effect my judgement of Dreamworks films, so much so, that 'Megamind' will be the first Dreamworks film I have seen in two years. Here's hoping it'll change my mind on what the studio is capable of.

Starring: Will Ferrell, Brad Pitt, Jonah Hill
Directed by: Tom McGrath (Who happens to have directed what I consider some of the worst Dreamworks movies to date.)

The Positives:

- Dammit, I love David Cross! I know he does shitty movies like 'Alvin and Chipmunks', but I'm glad he openly admits he does it for the pay check. If he'd just do more films like this I'm sure he'd get better offers and better roles should hold me over until that 'Arrested Development' movie comes out. One day…. I can dream.
- A J.K. Simmons cameo!
- It doesn't matter if he's an evil fashion designer or an animated blue alien, Will Ferrell always gets into character and you can tell he has a lot of fun doing what he does.
- Brad Pitt is also delightful.
- It pretty obvious the writers of this film were very familiar with 80's pop culture and super hero tropes.
- Subtle superhero references like the Marlon Brando 'Space dad' jokes really, really crack me up.
-Megamind has a pretty solid soundtrack and it makes the most out of it. Setting the final scene to Michael Jackson's "Bad" is too perfect to call hokey.
- Animated movies should be fun for both kids and adults. I must say, this film succeeded.


The Negatives:

- I love Will Ferrell. I do. But still, I'd loved to have seen what Robert Downey Jr. would've done with this character.
-I understand not every animated film can be a Pixar film, and I should really stop comparing films like this to 'Toy Story 3', but when I see films like this attempt to be emotional, it just emphasizes how effortlessly Pixar can do it. It tried though, I'll give it that.

Grade: B

I realize the irony of expressing my love of Pixar on the opening day of Cars 2, (Which currently has a 34 on Rotten Tomatoes, making it Pixar's lowest rated film by a considerable amount), and it may seem a bit hypocritical now by saying this film doesn't have the emotional impact that Pixar put's into their films, but 'Megamind' is quite a fun and entertaining film. Don't skip it by assuming it's just animated filler.

Thursday, June 23, 2011

Day 6: Children of Men (2006)


Peter Travers said it was the second best film of the decade. That's a lot to live up to.

Starring: Clive Owen, Julianne Moore, Michael Caine
Directed by: Alfonso Cuarón

The Positives:

- First and foremost, Michael Caine is fantastic, as always. I'm almost ready to forgive him for 'Jaws: The Revenge'.
- It's the little things I find most effective. Early in the film, a woman who appears from a bombed site missing an arm and screaming not only made an impact on me but also set up the tone for the rest of the film.
- Is that Banksy's 'British Cops Kissing' I spy?
- Julianne Moore gets hotter and hotter the older she gets, like a ginger Benjamin Button. With breasts.
- The best part about 'Children of Men is probably the way the movie was filmed. The camera never cuts away from Clive Owen during the action scenes, keeping the threats and other important characters in the background or off-camera at all time. Each and every lengthy single-shot sequence is beautiful, and Cuarón makes great use of them. The highlight of this technique is the car ambush scene. Since the camera never moved from inside the car, the sequence had quite the claustrophobic feel and I must say it was thrilling. It also made events like the flaming car wreck and the motorbike flipping over the hood all the more realistic.
- When Julian died, I cared. When Jasper died, I cared. It's not everyday you watch a movie that makes you feel something every single time a character dies. Especially characters that have all of about ten minutes of screen time.
- The final single-shot sequence of Theo running though the decimated city's war zone is horrifying, suspenseful, chaotic, beautiful, awe-inspiring and, dare I say, perfect.

The Negatives:

- This is an excellent film, no doubt, so all the negatives I found below are really just nitpicking:
- At times, the movie was a bit slow, but it never lost my interest.
- I can't stand it when films set in the future give the dates events take place. The movie kind of loses it edge when you say something shall happen by 2009, and you're watching it in 2011 knowing that the events described didn't even come close to happening. I feel it's much more effective to just say "In the not too distant future." (Though in a movie dealing with specific ages of characters, I understand that dates are at times required.)


Grade: A

Six days in and we already have an 'A'-worthy film. Congrats, Alfonso Cuarón. You've created a dystopian masterpiece.

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Day 5: The Mummy (1999)


A loose reboot of a 1930's horror film starring Brendan Fraser? If there was ever a reason to put off a film for twelves years, this is it.

Starring: Brendan Fraser, Rachel Weisz, John Hannah
Directed by: Stephen "I'm too good for GI Joe 2" Sommers

The Positives:

- The above screencap.
- Not to sound like a jackass, but I enjoyed the hanging of Brendan Fraser a tad too much.
- Not only does Rachel Weisz pull off that 1920's beauty quite well, but she makes being smart sexy.
- The scenery is absolutely gorgeous, as long as the shoddy CGI doesn't get in the way. Though, I must admit, the CGI mummy wasn't all that bad.
- Zombies! Ok, technically mummies!
- Lastly, I will say that this story is very interesting. Maybe if the movie had a less cartoonish execution, this could've been a good flick.

The Negatives:

- The film has quite a slow start. Even with a royal murder, Brendan Fraser commanding an army at war, and Rachel Weisz totally destroying a library I found myself dozing off and questioning whether to continue the movie.
- Some, if not most of the characters feel like walking cartoons, especially these Gad and Beni fellows. Brendan Fraser's character has the added bonus of being completely unlikeable.
- A lot of Brendan Fraser's quips might have been inspired by the witty one-liners found in 'Indiana Jones', but they only come off as poorly written dialogue.
- Actually, most of the dialogue is poorly written. "Why if it isn't my little buddy Beni… I think I'll kill you." stands out most to me. I literally groaned when I heard it (combined with the way it was delivered).
- Oh and about that Beni. He is probably one of my least favorite characters of any movie I've ever watched.
- These 'Medjai' fellows remind me of the Vietnamese drug cartel from 'Tropic Thunder'. The way they act just makes me laugh.
- Dracula's scared of crucifixes. Frankenstein, fire. The Mummy? Cats.
- 'The Mummy' has a habit of introducing characters just to establish set pieces and then killing them off minutes later. Ex. Poor Winston was written in just to fly a plane with our heroes in it. Not to advance the plot mind you, considering how random it is, but instead to set up a sequence where the Mummy creates a massive sandstorm and destroys the plane. Winston is the only one who doesn't make it, not that it matters because boy that scene looked "cool".
- About half way through the movie I had to stop it a take care of a few errands. Upon my return I actually had to force myself to finish watching it. That's not normally the best sign for a movie.

Grade: D+
A poor man's 'Indiana Jones' if there ever was one.

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Day 4: Sleepless in Seattle (1993)



Part II in the unofficial Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan Love Bug Trilogy. Will it hold up to other Hanks classics like 'Saving Private Ryan' or 'Cast Away'? As long as it's better than 'The 'Burbs' I'm game.

Starring: Meg Ryan, Tom Hanks, Rob Reiner
Directed by: Nora Ephron

The Positives:

- Tom Hanks is the most likable actor of all time. You're wrong if you think otherwise. Don't argue.
- "Do you know where Oklahoma is?" "Somewhere in the middle?" "Somewhere in the middle? I'm not even going to think about what they're not teaching you in school." I shouldn't have laughed as hard as I did at that, but dammit if Tom Hanks isn't one funny sonovabitch.
- Matter of fact, Tom Hank's relationship with his son and the witty banter that transpires between the two is my favorite part of the movie. Their talk about sex and cable made me laugh even more than the "Oklahoma" bit.
- Rob Reiner and Tom Hanks also have some pretty great scenes together too.
- Eff it. Tom Hanks carries this film. Not that is necessary a bad thing I suppose.
- Also, there's a 'Paul is Dead' reference in this film. Immediate letter grade bump for that.
- Lastly, Tom Hanks' and Meg Ryan's characters do not actually meet each other until the 1 hour 12 minute mark, which is quite a dynamic for a 105 minute romance movie.

The Negatives:

- "If you're just tuning in, we're talking to Sleepless in Seattle." Ah. There it is.
- There was nothing particularly exciting about Meg Ryan's character. Maybe women would find sneaking behind your fiancee's back while you whine about chasing down a man you have never met heartfelt but I just think she's a lying tramp.
- I can't stand Rosie O'Donnell, let alone her voice.
- There are a handful of romance movies that speaks to any generation that sees them (Annie Hall, (500) Days of Summer, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind... Just to name a few). This isn't one of those movies. Maybe if I was a thirty-five year old widower/divorcee/single dad I'd be more affected, but as an 18 year old college student, the trails and tribulations Ryan and Hanks go through are meaningless to me.

Grade: C-

Well, at least it was better than 'The 'Burbs'. Barely.

Monday, June 20, 2011

Day 3: An American Werewolf in London (1981)


Apparently I can't describe myself as an 1980's horror fanatic until I watch this, which is why I find it so peculiar I've been putting it off. Until now.

Starring: Jenny Agutter, David Naughton, John Woodvine
Directed by: John Landis

The Positives:

- Hellooooooo nurse!
- A Frank Oz cameo!
- Griffin Dunne's make-up is fantastic, and only gets better as the film progresses. His skeletal corpse puppet toward the finale is my favorite part of the movie.
- 'Bad Roon Rising' by Creedence Clearwater Revival may be the most perfect choice of song for a 1980's werewolf film.
- While we're on music, the rest of the film's soundtrack is excellent too. David's transformation into the beast was made 1000X more exciting thanks to 'Blue Moon' by Sam Cooke (I had to look that one up).
- John Landis balanced humor and horror incredibly well in this. Naked men stealing balloons in a zoo and neon haired punks loitering on the subway, the later Chucky films could take note.
- The scene where David ad the Nurse go shopping made me laugh hard, though unless John Landis was able to predict the future I'm sure he didn't intend for it to be funny but just a observation of his time. As all the groceries were ringing up one and two dollars, the nurse makes a remark on the groceries being "expensive" and on a nurse's salary she's unable to "keep up with inflation". Nowadays, I don't think I have ever been to a grocery store and spent less than twenty dollars, even if I was just picking up a few bags of ships and a case of soda.
- The porno film featured at the end of the film is by far the greatest thing ever committed to celluloid, and not just because of that actress' massive melons.
- Now that's how you end a movie (ie: Very quickly, with no time for closure).
- "Any resemblance to any persons living, dead or undead is coincidental." Huzzahs all around for that one.
- This film actually has me interest in The Wolfman from the 1940's. I also happen to notice it's on Netflix Instant Watch. A future 365 Day's film? I think so.

The Negatives:

- It's pretty easy to see why no Best Actor Oscar nods were given to this film.
- The werewolf puppet wasn't realistic in any way, shape, or form and it kind of bugged me. I can't really fault it though, as I understand that this was in the early 80's and I've probably been jaded from all the CGI that I grew up on. (I will say however, that the puppet does get better as the movie progresses and the frames allow more of the beast to be shown.)
- Something about the film, something I can't quite place my finger on, prevents me from totally enjoying it. Maybe it was the dark atmosphere mixed into the 1980's London setting that gave it a certain cheesy quality.

Grade: B-

It's a fun film and actually quite disconcerting here and there, but nonetheless it feels dated which can be bothersome at times.

Sunday, June 19, 2011

Day 2: Requiem for a Dream (2000)


Darren Aronofsky is one of my top five favorite directors. The Wrestler and Black Swan go down as some of my favorite all-time films. Can Requiem for a Dream do the same?

Starring: Jared Leto, Jennifer Connelly, Marlon Wayans
Directed by: Darren Aronofsky (Ha! I can finally spell his name without having to Google it.)

The Positives:

- When this film's dramatic beats hit, they hit HARD.
- Marlon Wayans was finally in a good movie!
- A Dylan Baker cameo!
- A Shooter McGavin cameo!
- Jennifer Connelly bush!
- The intensity of the final scenes are horrific, but Darren Aronofsky finds a way to exceptionally contrast that with Jennifer Connelly's beauty… Well, ya know, up until that whole ass-to-ass thing, but by that point of the finale all Hell has broken loose anyways.
- My favorite part of films like this is the editing, and this may very well be the best use of the hip-hop montage I've ever seen (I believe that's the proper term. I normally just refer to them as Edgar Wright cuts.) These quick edits give the film a rapid, chaotic feel, which perfectly establishes the lives of these junkies.

The Negatives:

- Sometimes these edits don't work though, in which that case you are immediately taken out of the film. the use of fish-eye lenses and sped up movements might be strategically placed, but that still doesn't make them any more tolerable.
- This movie is about terrible people doing terrible things, and I can't help but feel dirty after watching this.

Grade: B

Even though the performances are strong, it's not a good as Aronofsky's more recent films. However, it is easy to see how this is a precursor to The Wrestler and Black Swan.

Saturday, June 18, 2011

Day 1: Green Lantern (2011)


A quirky film for first choice, I know, but I have eagerly been awaiting it's release for over a year now and I feel it's well-advertised enough to be a proper first film pick.

Starring: Ryan Reynolds, Tim Robbins, Blake Lively
Directed by: Martin "Casino Royal and the lesser Quantum of Solace" Campbell

The Positives:

- Peter Sarsgaard. He was creepy. He was demented. He was fun. Sarsgaard should be more famous than what he is, and unfortunately I feel that this movie won't put him on too many people's maps. He's performance is worth praise though.
- Mark Strong! They might not have gotten Sinestro's comic book story correct, but dammit if Mark Strong didn't work with what he got.
- Michael Clarke Duncan and Geoffrey Rush were entertaining as Hell, even if they only received four minutes screen voice- time collectively
- The make up for Abin Sur and Sinestro was fantastic.
- I'm insanely glad that Hal Jordan used a plethora of green entities instead of just focusing on one, even if that did cause a few stupid objects to slip into the film (See below).
- If there was a 'meh' section, this next bit should probably be placed under that considering this isn't necessarily a positive note. However, it must be said that Blake Lively wasn't nearly as bad as the trailers suggested. She wasn't good mind you, but she's no Megan Fox.
- On that note, this movie isn't nearly as bad as the critics are making it out to be. It's not 'The Dark Knight' good, but it's definitely no "Ghost Rider"

The Neagtives

- But when this movie's negativity shows, it feels worse than 'Ghost Rider'.
- What the fuck Tim Robbins? What. The. Fuck.
- Ryan Reynold was an exceptionally good Super-Van Wilder. He was a horrible Hal Jordan though. At least he looked the part.
- Sadly, that doesn't prevent him from becoming the most entertaining part of the film.
- Everybody who knows me knows I HATE bad/overused CGI with a passion. If done right it's very enjoyable, but for every Star Trek and Scott Pilgrim there's a Hulk and Lost in Space to piss me off even more. Green Lantern gets a good portion of the CGI right, but every once in a while, notably when Paralax is on screen, the shit hits the fan and takes me out of the movie. One very noticeable moment of bad CGI involves what looks like Ryan Reynold's disembodied head hovering over a green screen as a video game cutscene plays behind him.
- The Story does what it can with the character I suppose. I mean, you have sixty years of background info, I guess one can only cut and paste so much of it to make a proper okay script. That might be why this film feels so disjointed.
- FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK that built-in Hot Wheels advert that randomly shows up during a major action sequence. Everybody who has seen this film knows it was only thrown in there so toy companies can make thousands of race-track play sets to pawn off onto vulnerable children. Not only was that shameless product placement, but it made no damn sense in the film. There were hundreds of better ways to rescue a helicopter than to give it wheels and race it on a plastic green-energy track. Hell, a giant green baseball glove would've worked better.
- This has very little to do with the film but instead with Green Lantern himself. If this is the DC Universe, and the ring does select a guardian based on his/her will-power, wouldn't Bruce Wayne, Superman, or Wonder Woman have been a much better choice than a hot-shot pilot?Though, to be fair, I believe when they explained why Hal was a good choice for the ring, I had already phased out and began focusing on the half-assed effects.

Grade: C+

For all its flaws, the child in me was very entertained.

365 Days. 365 Films.

I know. I know. It's not the most original title. But it works.

Without Chris' permission, I have started my own film blog, where I watch one movie I have never seen before each day for a year, then post my thoughts on it. I know that just about every other person who has started one of these blogs hasn't finished them, and considering I have Comic-Con and college coming up, I may not stay on task. My one goal however is to see just how far I can make it, hopefully not having to back-track and post a weeks worth of reviews in one sitting like I do on the Daily Nerdgasms from time to time.

I will rate movies on an A+ to F- Scale (Yes an F-.) and I plan on reviewing at least one movie of every main genre (Action, adventure, animation, comedy, drama, documentary, horror, romance, and sci-fi).

The five rules to reviewing these films are as follows:

- I must watch one film I have never seen before once a day for a year. This includes Christmas, New Years, and any other major holiday.
- Since 2012 is a leap year, I must actually watch 366 films. The title of the blog just sounds better as 365.
- I am not allowed to watch any movie I have seen completely as a child, which means that as much as I would like to re-watch 'Space Jam' and 'Pokemon: The First Movie', I'll have to do that one my own time.
- I am allowed to review any movie I have started watching before I started this blog as long as I have never gotten half way through them. For instance, I have had 'I ♥ Huckabees' from Netflix since March now, and have only gotten through the first 15 minutes. If I want to review it, I must start it over and finish it entirely, but it will count. (Otherwise, over half of my Netflix Instant Watch queue would be null and void)
- Just to mix things up and keep it interesting, I can not watch two films of the same genre in a row. This rule is only exempt If I choose to watch a movie series marathon (For example, spending a Thursday, Friday, and Saturday watching all three 'Mad Max' films).
- If a movie falls under two certain genres (Such as 'Ghostbusters' [Horror-Comedy] or most Will Smith films [Action-Comedy]) I will normally go to Netflix and see what genre they list the movie as primarily.

So come one, come all, and follow me on this journey through cinematic history.
Take care everybody, Mike.