Day 8: Wild Wild West (1999)

Will Smith in a western-comedy directed by the director of 'Men in Black'? This can't possibly be that bad right?

Starring: Will Smith, Kenneth Branagh, Salma Hayek
Directed by: Barry Sonnenfeld

The Positives:

- It's only an hour and forty-five minutes.
- I am a fan of alliteration.
- At least Salma Hayek was pretty to look at.


The Negatives:

- It's still an hour and forty-five minutes.
- That damn mechanical spider.
- Every time Bai Ling appeared on screen I wanted to shoot myself.
- Kenneth Branagh, you deserve so much better than this!
- With a name like General "Bloodbath" McGrath, you'd think the antagonist would be better suited for an episode of "Wacky Races than a Will Smith film.
- Oddly framed and cut sequences are peppered throughout the film and it's quite distracting.
- The humor rarely works. The bizarre blend of sight jokes, 'witty' wordplay, and slapstick humor not only miss their beats, but the odd and unfunny sound effects appointed to the gags give the film a 'Looney Tunes'-esque tone, and it fails on every level. By the end of the first act, the humor is just annoying.
- Ex. #1 "That's a man's head." wasn't funny the first time it was said. It didn't get any funnier the next three times.
- I don't care how many faux scientific explanations you want to use to explain something, some things are just un-fucking-believeable.
- I find it unacceptable that a film released during the same year as 'The Matrix', and cost $107,000,000 more to make, has inferior special effects.

Grade: F

This isn't a so-bad it's good movie. This isn't even a bad movie. This is a terrible, horrible, no good, rotten movie, and I feel bad for anybody who has seen/will see/even knows about it.